**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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