fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
