3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
