I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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