woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize