Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
