Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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