More tranny stories later!
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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