12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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