kristin has been a bad kristin
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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