whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Semen is not good for contacts.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
