Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I enjoy the company of your penis
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