she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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