I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
