What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
