i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
is wine microwaveable?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
