you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
