just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
