Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
