Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I AM VODKA MAN
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
