she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
