Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
