we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
