Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaĆt comercial?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Randomize