I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just high enough for therapy.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
