I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You work out of a Hotel?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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