Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
