we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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