I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
where are you?
Hypothermia
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
