I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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