also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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