I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
