her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
