my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
