Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My pussy is not your playground.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
