do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Boobs are out for the taking
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize