It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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