What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
