How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
