i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
