So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
