i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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