she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we're making bets on your personal life
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
