My sheets look like a crime scene.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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