What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
