I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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