i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
