how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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