So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
