he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
