I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
