Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
