I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
