do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think your dad took our porno
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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