So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
