Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
