I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
