Moan for me like Helen Keller
accomplished twins. life is a go
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
