yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
